Man it’s rough this, isn’t it. I know you’re reading this and just did a big sigh, too. I feel you. I hear you. I’m feeling it. I’ve always been naturally very creative, whether it was making up dances in my bedroom, or painting pictures in the garden as a kid – and of course you know I grew up to really make that my career. Even before I did this all full time, I worked in creative industries, whether I was visual merchandising or doing marketing and pr. It’s always been part of my DNA. I know I’m not alone in that. The pandemic however, and this situation, has sucked a lot of it out of me. I feel dry on creativity. I feel fatigue for something I haven’t even done. I feel tired from the lack of stimulation. I’ve found this last lockdown in particular, very hard.
I guess I just wanted to offer a few words of support and solidarity. I don’t know a single creative person – whether you work full time and manage your creative outlet around it, or work creatively full time – who hasn’t felt this feeling of emptiness during this period. It’s been tough. Really tough. I’m so proud of everyone who relies on a creative industry, who got through this rough time. It unfortunately will stay with us forever. I’m missing my DJ work more than I could ever have imagined, and I feel terribly sad at the prospect of potentially another Summer without it. The show must and will go on, and I know the creativity will come back.
I’ve been very quiet over here, the last post was December 2020! Gosh Zoe, that is bad. Realistically I didn’t have the words in me, let alone any creative spark to do it. I’ve been struggling with my instagram as you may have noticed, the posts are a little sparser in upload times. I find it hard to motivate myself when I don’t particularly like how I look at the moment, and when my brain was in a bad place in lockdown. I’m not writing any of this to make anyone feel sorry for me, at all, I’m very thankful it’s my job to begin with, but more as comfort – that I fear we often think of only the highlights of social media and not the realistic lows. I know so many of you are feeling how I feel too. It will get better, and it will get easier.
To end this on a more positive note – a few things that have made me feel better and a bit more like me recently include: being able to actually see friends IRL in gardens and pubs, getting my hair cut and feeling much happier about my appearance because of it, the constant sunshine through my window, and knowing that Summer is on the way – my favourite season of the year.
Anyway. I just wanted to check in, I wanted to be brutally honest. Brighter times are coming, they have to be. Take care of yourselves.
Oh and listen, I cant promise this blog will be updated daily but… I’m feeling a bit better about writing again so. I’m gonna try my best.